Well, seeing as I'm going to be jet-setting and all tomorrow morning, and as I'm incredibly bored after having finished packing, I thought it'd be a good idea to remind myself of some of the things I shouldn't be bringing with me, Letterman style!
10. Fireworks. Not because it's a hazard, but because it's the 22nd of July. I'm lookin' at you, Graham.
9. Safety scissors (My brother had a problem with this last time we got on a plane).
8. Toenail clippers (Again, the airline industry has several of my family's clippers).
7. A hand grenade filled with safety scissors and toenail clippers. Authorities tend not to appreciate the pseudo-irony here.
6. My collection of illegal immigrants... but they're so cute!
5. Strippers. Though technically not a security issue, they make getting through security take A LOT longer. Believe me.
4. Large calculators. Every single time I brought mine tucked inside my turban I was pulled over for a "random" security check.
3. Body/limb casts of any sort. Apparently airport authorities think your will to live (and thus your likelihood of not blowing up a plane) decreases immensely when you have a gimp of any sort.
2. Fat people. I'm pretty sure they left one of my bags behind to accommodate an extra large dude one time.
1. Condoms. They break...and my body can't handle that much cocaine at one time.
And when you're packing, remember the immortal words of Dave Attell:
"Just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport."
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4 comments:
Well, those are some origional top ten things man. There pretty hilaruous too. It's to bad that your leaving Colorado at just the right time and I'm leaving Montana at just the right time. Oh well, I'll see you back at Mines.
Don't you just love what boredom squeezes out of us? ;) Those, "Wow... I just pulled that right outta my ass..." moments? Yeah. Those are good.
We keep on missing each other! Geez! I'm sorry about your baggage. I hope you're having fun in Misssssouuuula! I'll catch ya later then!!
*smoooooooooooooooches!*
hiyee! *waves*
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