Rant Number Two: Sneering

So this last Saturday, while I was waiting patiently for Delta Airlines to "misplace" my baggage during my layover in Salt Lake City (Mormons, represent!), I decided to snag a delicious Cinnabon. There I was, trying hard to remember whether or not there was a sales tax in Utah - or airports for that matter - when I saw it. The look. Two otherwise attractive girls (maybe women. I didn't get a good look at their I.D.'s) walked past the Cinnabon queue (That's right, I said queue instead of line. What!?) with the most grotesque facial expression I've seen since we informed Graham that his "french fries" were in fact fried squid legs. I've since decided to name their look the "Half 'Tarded Sneer," or HTS for short.

www.dictionary.com defines a sneer as "A scornful facial expression characterized by a slight raising of one corner of the upper lip." The look I'm describing is more dramatic than this, however. The HTS does involve a raising of one side of the mouth, but it also involves a heavy slackening of the jaw, leading to an open mouth. It gave me the impression that perhaps the airport girls had split a botox treatment between them, each having one half of their face juiced.

Now, I wouldn't have thought much of this except that I've noticed it on a few seperate occasions in the short time since then - a moderately to highly attractive female with the I'm disgusted-with-the-world sneer distorting her face. Blondes appear to be at higher risk for HTS abuse, from my experiences thus far. Abstent-minded activities (such as driving) may also pressure you into HTS use. I truly hope this is not a growing trend and that I've merely been unlucky over the past half-week. Women (and men as well, I suppose), please refrain from using the Half 'Tarded Sneer in the future. Check the mirror every morning and if you find HTS on your face, do what you can to get rid of it or see a doctor. HTS use is not "cool," nor does it make you seem "sophisticated." Stop it, people. Just say no!